Tim Allen Quotes

In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

Time Quotes, Experience Quotes, Wonder Quotes

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.

Humor Quotes, Parents Quotes, Respect Quotes

The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

Religious Quotes

 

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Men Quotes

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever.

Marriage Quotes, Love Quotes

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

Marriage Quotes, Compromise Quotes

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Lying Quotes

I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life.

Love Quotes, Life Quotes

My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

Love Quotes, Understanding Quotes, Feeling Quotes

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

God Quotes

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I've never gotten over it.

Fear Quotes

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

Democracy Quotes

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

Children Quotes

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Anger Quotes

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Trust Quotes

I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.

Time Quotes

You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.

Stress Quotes

It's true; I have a skill and it's... it has not related to acting, it's not related to auditions, it's not related to studios, not related to public whim. It's whether I'm funny or not and whether I can entertain people.

Skill Quotes

4 Top Tim Allen quotes about Women

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

Women Quotes

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Women Quotes

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

Children Quotes, Work Quotes, Choice Quotes, Women Quotes, Men Quotes

In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

Love Quotes, Understanding Quotes, Women Quotes, Feeling Quotes, Men Quotes