Short Funny Quote
Funny Quotes
"Eat my shorts."
- Short Funny Quotes by Bart Simpson
"Mr. Right is coming. But He's in Africa and he's walking."
- Short Funny Quotes by Oprah Winfrey
"Procrastination gives you something to look forward to."
- Short Funny Quotes by Joan Konner
"Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
- Short Funny Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
"I never met a kid I liked."
- Short Funny Quotes by W.C. Fields
"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room."
- Short Funny Quotes by Winston Churchill
"Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
"Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
"I drink therefore I am."
- Short Funny Quotes by W.C. Fields
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
- Short Funny Quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor
"You're never too old to become younger."
- Short Funny Quotes by Mae West
"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all."
- Short Funny Quotes by Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
"A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
"Respectable people do not write music or make love as a career."
- Short Funny Quotes by Alexander Borodin
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Short Funny Quotes by Ingrid Bergman
"Fragile. Do not drop."
- Short Funny Quotes by Posted on a Boeing 757
"As I get older, I just prefer to knit."
- Short Funny Quotes by Tracey Ullman
"My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite."
- Short Funny Quotes by Woody Allen
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
- Short Funny Quotes by Steven Wright
"Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
"This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last."
- Short Funny Quotes by Oscar Wilde
"My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic."
- Short Funny Quotes by Spike Milligan
"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."
- Short Funny Quotes by Albert Einstein
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
"Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow."
- Short Funny Quotes by David Brent
"You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun."
- Short Funny Quotes by Woody Allen
