Santa Claus Quotes

“Physically he was the connoisseur's connoisseur. He was a giant panda, Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant rolled into one. On him, a lean and slender physique would have looked like very bad casting.”
- Craig Claiborne

“The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.”
- Stephen Wright

“One of the problems we have in this country is that too many adults believe in Santa Claus, and too many children don't”
- Lee Lauer

“Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.”
- Samuel Butler

“A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty.”
- William Feather

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
- Shirley Temple

“If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus”
- Jack Handy

“Harry Potter is like Santa Claus... he is sooo REAL!”

“I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.”
- Dick Gregory

“No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.”
- Alfred E. Smith

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.”
- W. C. Fields

“A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.”
- James Gould Cozzens

“God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat”
- Henry Louis Mencken

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
- Victor Borge

“A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.”
- Herbert Hoover

“Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.”
- Henry Louis Mencken