Retirement Quotes

"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does."
- Author Unknown

"The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!"
- Anonymous

"Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun."
- Jim Bishop

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."
- Abe Lemons

"Retire from work, but not from life."
- M.K. Soni

"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch."
- R.C. Sherriff

"When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you."
- Gene Perret

"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income."
- Chi Chi Rodriguez

"When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking."
- Gail Sheehy

"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."
- Ella Harris

"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty."
- Harry Vardon

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!"
- Author Unknown

"Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial."
- Seneca

"Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work."
- Author Unknown

"Retirement is the ugliest word in the language."
- Ernest Hemingway

"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
- Gene Perret

"I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income."
- Gene Perret

"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
- William Wordsworth

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."
- George Foreman

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
- Phyllis Diller

"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working."
- Robert Half

"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf."
- Gene Perret

"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day."
- Gene Perret

"I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps."
- Merri Brownworth

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."
- Author Unknown

"Life begins at retirement."
- Author Unknown

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life."
- Herbert Asquith

"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
- Doug Larson

"Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."
- Gene Perret

"The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money."
- Author Unknown

"In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day."
- Anonymous

"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese."
- Gene Perret

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."
- George Burns

"Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it."
- Abigail Charleson

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
- Dean Martin

"Retirement: World's longest coffee break."
- Author Unknown

"Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did."
- Malcolm Forbes

"Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to."
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

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