Maria Bamford Quotes

My dad has some depressive issues, and he's really tough on himself. So sometimes he can say things that are not super supportive. Like once I did a set, and he says, 'Sheesh, no wonder you're still single.' I was like, 'Eight ball, corner pocket, dad.'

Wonder Quotes

I love that vision-board thing where you cut out pictures that resonate with you so they'll manifest. I've done that since I was three; I cut out pictures of ladies from the JCPenney catalog.

Love Quotes, Vision Quotes

I think taking vacations and turning off the phone and only doing emails or social media for a specific short amount of time helps with work/life balance. If I'm checking it all day I start to feel cuckoo-bird. So I just do it once or twice a day instead of a thousand. And then remembering that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.

Life Quotes, Time Quotes, Work Quotes, Balance Quotes, Vacation Quotes

 

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

Trouble Quotes

I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice.

Belief Quotes, Choice Quotes, Thought Quotes

I thought that when you have more success that you'd feel more buoyed or feel more confident. But in fact my brain has the gift of switching it around and saying, 'Now people are expecting something. Now you're really going to let people down.'

Success Quotes, Thought Quotes

I never really thought of myself as depressed so much as paralyzed by hope.

Hope Quotes, Thought Quotes

I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later.

Suffering Quotes

My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things.

Worry Quotes, Prayer Quotes

I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality.

Personality Quotes

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.

Performance Quotes

I am a wild orchid of comedy, so I can only do well under specific conditions... There are people who I think can do any room, and do stadiums and thousand-seat theaters, and then there are people like me who just perform for my parents.

Parents Quotes

Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.

Challenge Quotes, Opinion Quotes

I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.

Compassion Quotes, Mindfulness Quotes

I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.

Listening Quotes, Material Quotes

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.

Honor Quotes

I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.

Business Quotes, Fulfillment Quotes

I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because that's been said to me.

Character Quotes, Fear Quotes

I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.

Experience Quotes

In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something about acting like I don't care, or if I act like I haven't spent enough time on it, it seems to go better. If I act like I'm really trying to sell it, it doesn't go as well.

Time Quotes, Enthusiasm Quotes

I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell.

Character Quotes

I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've lost all their teeth.

Time Quotes, Character Quotes

My mom always does this thing where, the closer I get to home, the more she calls. 'Hey, listen, how's your plane? Did you land? Are you landing? Sweetie. Listen. We want to... ' The anxiety amps up exponentially as I get closer, and then I can't get out fast enough.

Anxiety Quotes

I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something.

Worry Quotes

I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer.

Time Quotes

I've been stopped a few times by people who want to say, 'Hi.' But I'm an introverted person, and the idea that I'd have to talk to people all the time seems a little overwhelming.

Time Quotes

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

Fun Quotes, Time Quotes

My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister's website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets.

Business Quotes

5 Top Maria Bamford quotes about Love

It's always the compliments from people you love that mean so much.

Love Quotes

I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It's nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I'm solo for the most part.

Attitude Quotes, Love Quotes

I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, 'cos they always know where you're always going to be: you're always going to be laying in bed.

Love Quotes, Time Quotes

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.

Love Quotes, Feeling Quotes

In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45 minutes home, or do another set. So in San Francisco we can hang out, go for dinner - the community aspect of it is really lovely, as well as seeing people's shows that you don't normally get to see a longer version of.

Love Quotes, Time Quotes, Community Quotes