Louie Anderson Quotes

I had been asking the universe and God to send me a way for me to help me. Show business has been so wonderful to me, and it came in the form of that. It's just so funny how things come into your life, and if you take a chance on them, it might give you a brand new life.

Life Quotes, God Quotes, Business Quotes, Help Quotes, Wonder Quotes

Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook?

Success Quotes

I really try to have fun. If I don't have fun, you won't have fun. That's what my gift is: to relieve people from a little of the pain and comfort in their lives by allowing my comedy to distract them. A good laugh is almost as good as any doctor visit.

Pain Quotes


I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

Greed Quotes, Money Quotes

We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Mind Quotes

I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.

Memories Quotes

When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.

Work Quotes, Material Quotes

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

Love Quotes

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

Love Quotes

Everyone always comes to one point in their life as an artist where you can either let your heart guide you or your ego.

Life Quotes, Heart Quotes

One time, I came off stage and a guy named Roman Decare, God rest his soul, he was a comic. 'Louie, if you do that family stuff, and you're a clean comic on stage, you'll become famous.' And, for some reason, a switch clicked, and I started doing the family stuff, and it became a giant part of my life.

Life Quotes, God Quotes, Time Quotes

I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.

Heart Quotes

You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'

God Quotes

If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.'

Food Quotes

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

Action Quotes, Responsibility Quotes

Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it... 'Hey ain't you going to help us out?'

Help Quotes

All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.

Great Quotes