Funny Tax Quotes
Funny Quotes
"There is no such thing as a good tax."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Winston Churchill
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Will Rogers
"Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Lord Bramwell
"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Dave Barry
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Douglas Adams
"They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Al Capone
"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Ken Dodd
"In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Voltaire
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Will Rogers
"Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? "
- Funny Tax Quotes by Peg Bracken
"We must care for each other more, and tax each other less."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Bill Archer
"Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Erving Goffman
"Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Charles Rossotti
"I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Michael McShane
"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil."
- Funny Tax Quotes by J. Paul Getty
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Milton Friedman
"The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Sam Ewing
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Art Buchwald
"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward."
- Funny Tax Quotes by John Maynard Keynes
"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Tom Lehrer
"[A tax loophole is] something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Russell B. Long
"The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Bill Vaughan
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Mark Twain
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Will Rogers
"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents..."
- Funny Tax Quotes by James Madison
"The term "tax humor"is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
- Funny Tax Quotes by John F. Iekel
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Robert A. Heinlein
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Arthur Godfrey
"A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Bob Thaves
"If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Fran Lebowitz
"The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away."
- Funny Tax Quotes by John S. Coleman
"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Alfred E. Neuman
"I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Nancie J. Carmody
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Ronald Reagan
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Herman Wouk
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? "
- Funny Tax Quotes by Milton Berle
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Harvey Mackay
"I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Mick Jagger
"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Arthur C. Clarke
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- Funny Tax Quotes by H. L. Mencken
"The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes naturally, no one wants to live any other way."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Judith Martin
"Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq."
- Funny Tax Quotes by Conan O'Brien
