Funny Stupid Quotes

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
- George Rogers

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc

"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb!"
- Freddie Starr

"If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them."
- Ted Turner

"I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to."
- Linda Evangelista

"To me, the greatest book of all time is The Bible because there's some religious stuff in it!"
- Jim Rosenberg

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
- Mark Twain

"As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular."
- Oscar Wilde

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off!"
- Johnny Carson

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter

"What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?"
- Paris Hilton

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
- Arnold Schwartzanegger

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch!"
- Gilda Radner

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
- George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
- Christina Aguilera

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump

"I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism."
- Milos Forman

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman

"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
- Samuel Goldwyn

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- Dan Quayle

"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
- Douglas Adams

"I get to go overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears


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