Funny St. Patrick's Day Quotes

“The Irish don’t know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it.”
- Sidney Littlewood

 “It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!” 
- Irish Toast

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one!”
- St. Patrick's Day Toast

“There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were.”
- Irish Saying

“It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!”
- Irish Toast

“There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?”
- Irish Saying

“May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).”
- Irish Toast

“May the Good Lord take a liking to you... but not too soon!”
- Irish Blessing

“An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.”
- Irish Saying

“Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck.”
- Daryl Stout

“St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.”
- Charles M. Madigan

“Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day consists of the night of the 17th of March flavored strongly with the morning of the 18th.” 
- Unknown

“The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.”
- Oliver Herford

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