Funny Smoking Quotes

"Oscar Wilde: "Do you mind if I smoke?"
Sarah Bernhardt: "I don't care if you burn.""
- Sarah Bernhardt

"I'd rather have sex with a raccoon."
- Morton Downey, Jr.

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
- Woody Allen

"Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar."
- Steve Allen

"I have known many persons who turned their gold into smoke, but you are the first to turn smoke into gold."
- Elizabeth I of England

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of all statistics."
- Liza Minnelli

"I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself."
- Barbara Kelly

"It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times."
- Mark Twain

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

"I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something."
- George Burns


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