Funny Retirement Quotes
Funny Quotes
"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Bill Watterson
"Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Unknown
"I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em to get a life."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Larry Laser
"When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Kin Hubbard
"My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Patty Doyle
"When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Virginia Graham
"Retired is being twice tired, I've thought - First tired of working, Then tired of not."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Richard Armour
"In retirement, I look for days off from my days off."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Mason Cooley
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by William Wordsworth
"What do gardeners do when they retire?"
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Bob Monkhouse
"When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Branch Rickey
"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Robert Half
"Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Burt Reynolds
"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Ella Harris
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Doug Larson
"Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever.""
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Peter Drucker
"The great thing about show business is that there's no mandatory retirement age."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Scott Bakula
"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Abe Lemons
"If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Wolter's Law
"When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Unknown
"When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gail Sheehy
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by George Burns
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
"Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Mason Cooley
"Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Unknown
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Milton Berle
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Chi Chi Rodriguez
"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by George Foreman
"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day."
- Funny Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret
