Funny New Year Quotes

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Bill Vaughan

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
- Funny New Year Quotes by Joey Adams

New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Mark Twain

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
- Funny New Year Quotes by James Agate

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Mark Twain

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Bill Vaughan

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- Funny New Year Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Eric Zorn

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Oprah Winfrey

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Jay Leno

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Judith Crist

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Brooks Atkinson

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Anais Nin

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Charles Lamb

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Oscar Wilde

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
- Funny New Year Quotes by Leonard Bernstein