Funny Mothers Day Quotes

Mothers are all slightly insane.
- J.D. Salinger

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
- Phyllis Diller

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.
- Lisa Alther

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
- Aristotle

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
- Groucho Marx

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan

I married your mother because I wanted children; imagine my disappointment when you came along.
- Groucho Marx

My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
- Buddy Hackett

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
- Calvin rillin

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccolis.
- George Bush

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
- Helen Rowland

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.
- Peter De Vries

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
- Chinese Proverb

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
- Oscar Wilde

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
- Phyllis Diller

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