Funny Mother In Law Quotes

"Tommorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it."
- Les Dawson

"Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law."
- Brooks Hays

"Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law."
- Mark Twain

"I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'"
- Les Dawson

"I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in."
- Henry Youngman

"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
- Henny Youngman

"I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps."
- Les Dawson

"My wife said: 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said: 'Why?' and she said: 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already'."
- Bob Monkhouse

"Honolulu? Well, it's got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
- Ken Dodd

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property.""
- Joan Rivers

"Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends."
- Henry Louis Mencken

"The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea.""
- Les Dawson

"The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology."
- James George Frazer

"English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.

"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her."
- Ken Dodd

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