Funny Kissing Quotes

"A man's kiss is his signature."
- Mae West

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth."
- Chico Marx

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
- Ingrid Bergman

"A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one."
- Guy de Maupassant

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other."
- Rene Yasenek

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up."
- Barbara Bush

"Stolen kisses are always sweetest."
- Leigh Hunt

"For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man's love affairs have History blushing with envy."
- Helen Rowland

"People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy."
- Bob Hope

"We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine."
- Eduardo Galeano

"The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman."
- Henry Louis Mencken

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases."
- Chinese Proverb

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other."
- Rene Yasenek

"I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed."
- Henry Youngman

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know."
- Mistinguett

"Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last."
- Remy de Gourmont

"A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest."
- Helen Rowland

"I can't read lips unless they're touching mine."
- Jon Troast

"If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt."
- Thomas Carlyle

"Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off."
- Raymond Chandler

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
- Albert Einstein

"I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since."
- Arturo Toscanini

"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight."
- Andy Warhol

"The kiss. There are all sorts of kisses, lad, from the sticky confection to the kiss of death. Of them all, the kiss of an actress is the most unnerving. How can we tell if she means it or if she's just practicing?"
- Ruth Gordon

Funny Quotes Article Archive