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Funny Graduation Quotes

"To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States."
- George W Bush

"People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices."
- Bill Cosby

"Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates."
- A. Lawrence Lowell

"Time is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves."
- Jawaharlal Nehru

"I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but no one expects you to say very much."
- Antony Lake

"Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated."
- Garry Trudeau

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain

"It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realised I'd become an actor."
- James D'arcy

"Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
- Albert Einstein

"Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
- Erma Bombeck

"The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate."
- Doug Larson

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success."
- Robert Orben

"Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges."
- Bob Dylan

"Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money."
- Gary Bolden

"I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today."
- George Foreman


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