Funny Family Quotes

"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'."
- Margaret Laurence

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
- Ogden Nash

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space."
- Evan Esar

"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended."
- Robert Frost

"It is easier for a father to have children than the happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."
- Thomas Jefferson

"Before most people start boasting about their family tree, they usually do a good pruning job."
- O A Battista

"Better a loving single-parent family than a 'conventional' family where the parents hate each other and the father is a demagogue."
- Moby

"Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate."
- Erma Bombeck

"Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family."
- Bernard Shaw

"You’ll see a lot of funny stuff, you’ll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you’ll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together."
- Russell Simmons

"Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground."
- Francis Bacon

"The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."
- Dodie Smith

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
- George Burns

"Family is just accident…. they don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are."
- Marsha Norman

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
- Leo Tolstoy

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
- Ogden Nash

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
- Erma Bombeck

"It is easier for a father to have children than the happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."
- Thomas Jefferson

"My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called 'Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.'"
- Penelope Lombard

"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements."
- Elizabeth II

"Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family."
- Bernard Shaw

"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements."
- Elizabeth II

"He that has no fools, knaves nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning."
- Thomas Fuller

"Better a loving single-parent family than a 'conventional' family where the parents hate each other and the father is a demagogue."
- Moby

"Family is just accident…. they don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are."
- Marsha Norman

"You’ll see a lot of funny stuff, you’ll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you’ll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together."
- Russell Simmons

"The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."
- Dodie Smith

"He that has no fools, knaves nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning."
- Thomas Fuller


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