Funny Cooking Quotes

"My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with."
- Oprah Winfrey

"The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it."
- Andy Rooney

"There is such a buildup of crud in my oven there is only room to bake a single cupcake."
- Phyllis Diller

"When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking."
- Gail Sheehy

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
- Harriet van Horne

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
- Phyllis Diller

"When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag."
- Russell Baker

"Life is too short to stuff a mushroom."
- Storm Jameson

"Where there's smoke, there's toast."
- Anon

"Nachman's Rule: When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better."
- Gerald Nachman

"The art of cookery is the art of poisoning mankind, by rendering the appetite still importunate, when the wants of nature are supplied."
- Francois Fenelon

"If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat."
- Robert Morley

"I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking."
- Katherine Cebrian

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
- Calvin Trillin

"God sends meat and the devil sends cooks."
- Thomas Deloney

"I prefer my oysters fried; That way I know my oysters died."
- Roy G. Blount, Jr.

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