"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
- Steve Martin
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."
- Katherine Hepburn
"Men are a luxury, not a necessity."
- Cher
"Hate is such a luxurious emotion, it can only be spent on one we love."
- Bob Udkoff
"You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again."
- Unknown
"Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs."
- Miss Piggy
"The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one."
- Rita Rudner
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."
- Oscar Wilde
"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them."
- Unknown
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
- Alexander Graham Bel
"Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable."
- Cher
"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
- Victoria Holt
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."
- Unknown
"One way to break up any kind of tension is good deep breathing."
- Byron Nelson
"Breaking up is not a stupid thing. Instead, it makes you a better person and realize your mistakes."
- Unknown
"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of... Read more
"To have a man who can flirt is next thing to indispensable to a leader of society.. - Margaret Oliphant "There are times not to flirt.... Read more
"Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter." - Cecilia Egan "Love is an electric blanket with somebody... Read more
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warm." - Alfred... Read more
"You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet." - Pamela... Read more
"To enter life by way of the vagina is as good a way as any." - Henry Miller "Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the... Read more
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." - Abraham Lincoln "Wrinkles should merely indicate... Read more
"I don't pity any man who does hard work worth doing. I admire him. I pity the creature who does not work, at whichever end of the social scale... Read more
"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." - Dwight Eisenhower "I must... Read more
"How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than 60 years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?" - Logan... Read more
"An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce." - Ann Landers "American husbands are the best in the... Read more
"Friendship. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul." - Ambrose Bierce "I do not believe that friends... Read more
"We enter relationships as a somebody and leave them as a nobody." - Anonymous "Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like... Read more
"When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned." - Marie Osmond "People who say they sleep like... Read more
"My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds." - Tommy... Read more
"Tommorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it." - Les Dawson "Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a... Read more
"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf." - Gene Perret "There's never enough time to do all... Read more
"Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult." - Edmund Gwenn "Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate." -... Read more
"I had a mother who taught me there is no such thing as failure. It is just a temporary postponement of success." - Buddy Ebsen "I... Read more
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." - Marty Feldman "It's so simple to be wise. Just think... Read more
"My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was... Read more
"A man's kiss is his signature." - Mae West "I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." - Chico Marx "A kiss... Read more
"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." - Lisa Hoffman "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a... Read more
"The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation." -... Read more
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." - Bill Cosby "A father's words are like... Read more
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." - Abraham Lincoln "Wrinkles should merely indicate... Read more
"I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it." - Joan Rivers "I do benefits for all religions - I'd... Read more
"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." - Thomas Edison "I can believe anything provided it is... Read more
"Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts." - Anonymous "Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we... Read more
"If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and ... Read more