Funny Boyfriend Quotes

"When Charles Dickens wrote 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,' I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend."
- Carrie Bradshaw

"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
- Phyllis Diller

"My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant."
- Margaret Cho

"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
- Rita Rudner

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
- Cindy Gardner

"For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend."
- Loesje

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am."
- Unknown

"My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys — Mr Duracell and Mr Energizer."
- Michelle Landry

"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
- Erma Bombeck

"The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend."
- Katharine Hepburn

"My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'."
- Alicia Silverstone

"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV."
- Tracy Smith

"My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"If he loves you then don't waste that, you might never be able to get it back."
- Laurel

"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn't rain."
- Mae West

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