Funny Beer Quotes

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
- Homer Simpson

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
- Kaiser Wilhelm

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
- Homer Simpson

"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
- Jack Handy

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
- Dave Barry

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
- Frank Zappa

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"
- Homer Simpson

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
- Dave Barry

"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer."
- Ed O'Neill

"Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder."
- Anonymous


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