Funny Alcohol Quotes

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra

"Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having."
- Mitch Hedberg

"The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism."
- Norman Brenner

"Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off."
- Raymond Chandler

"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker."
- Ogden Nash

"There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them."
- Terry Pratchett

"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
- Winston Churchill

"Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts."
- Finley Peter Dunne

"Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems."
- Dan Castellaneta

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S. Thompson

"Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend."
- Gerard Way

Funny Quotes Article Archive