Funny Age Quotes
Funny Quotes
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
- Funny Age Quotes by Sir Norman Wisdom
All diseases run into one, old age.
- Funny Age Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
- Funny Age Quotes by Chinese Proverb
After the age of 80, everything reminds you of something else.
- Funny Age Quotes by Lowell Thomas
I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity... I don't want to look like a little old man dancing out there.
- Funny Age Quotes by Fred Astaire
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
- Funny Age Quotes by Andy Rooney
Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.
- Funny Age Quotes by Jonathan Swift
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ''At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
- Funny Age Quotes by Claude D. Pepper
Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.
- Funny Age Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Funny Age Quotes by Oscar Wilde
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Funny Age Quotes by Agatha Christie
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
- Funny Age Quotes by Billie Burke
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
- Funny Age Quotes by Patrick Moore
Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.
- Funny Age Quotes by Benjamin Franklin
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- Funny Age Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
- Funny Age Quotes by Benjamin Franklin
Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
- Funny Age Quotes by Washington Irving
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
- Funny Age Quotes by Bob Hope
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
- Funny Age Quotes by Maurice Chevalier
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
- Funny Age Quotes by George Burns
Oh, to be seventy again!
- Funny Age Quotes by Georges Clemenceau
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.
- Funny Age Quotes by Louis Kronenberger
No man is ever old enough to know better.
- Funny Age Quotes by Holbrook Jackson
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.
- Funny Age Quotes by Logan P. Smith
Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
- Funny Age Quotes by Mike Tyson
I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of a hatchet-faced woman with big knockers.
- Funny Age Quotes by Jamie Lee Curtis
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
- Funny Age Quotes by John Glenn
You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
- Funny Age Quotes by Hy Gardner
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- Funny Age Quotes by George Burns
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- Funny Age Quotes by Bob Hope
