Funny Achievement Quotes

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
- Winston Churchill

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.
- Leonard Bernstein

I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.
- Pablo Picasso

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
- Aldous Huxley

I'm now a Doctor of Letters. Most of them Fs and Bs.
- Billy Connolly

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
- Doug Larson

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.
- Michelangelo

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
- Josh Billings

We always take credit for the good and attribute the bad to fortune.
- Jean de La Fontaine

Little strokes fell great oaks.
- Benjamin Franklin

The way to be nothing is to do nothing.
- Nathaniel Howe

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller

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