Funny Academic Quotes

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
- Edgar Wallace

"There are lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Mark Twain

"I don't know why people question the academic training of an athlete. Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their classes."
- Al McGuire

"If your advertising goes unnoticed, everything else is academic!"
- William Bernbach

"I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."
- WC Fields

"Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known."
- FA Montagu

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
- Charles Duell

"You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one."
- Albert Einstein

"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
- Albert Einstein

"Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."
- Mike Barfield

"Complexity and profundity have been equated by the academic culture just as fame and significance have been conflated by the popular culture. Fame and significance have nothing to do with one another; and complexity and profundity have nothing to do with one another."
- Dennis Prager

"Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism."
- Dave Barry

"Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me."
- GW Hegel

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates

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