Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

"From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash."
- Sophie Tucker

"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."
- T. S. Eliot

"After a man is 50, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he's pretty."
- E.W. House

"At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves."
- George Orwell

"Looking fifty is great--if you're sixty."
- Joan Rivers

"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life."
- Muhammad Ali

"On my 50th birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She let me win an argument."
- Author Unknown

"If you cannot do great things at the age of 50, do small things in a great way."
- Napoleon Hill

"Everyone over 50 should be issued every week with a wet fish in a plastic bag by the Post Office so that, whenever you see someone young and happy, you can hit them as hard as you can across the face."
- Richard Griffiths

"Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty."
- Edward Hoagland

"I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent."
- Wendy Cope

"Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at fifty."
- Coco Chanel

"I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you."
- Agatha Christie

"The heyday of woman's life is the shady side of fifty."
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"By the time we hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves."
- Marie Dressler

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